Interesting Read of the Week
I came across this the other day, it's so interesting that I have to 'plagarise' it... :)
How To: Fake Your Own Death
On January 18, 2006, a 58-year-old man from Alabama named Johnny Sterling Martin was arrested by local authorities for failure to pay child support. What made the arrest noteworthy was the chilling fact that Martin wasn’t even supposed to be alive. That’s because the deadbeat dad faked his own death 25 years prior by having a relative call the family court and report that he was killed during a bar fight. While Martin’s case may seem ludicrous, it’s far from isolated.
Every year hundreds of Americans just like Martin drop off the face of the earth by pretending to pass away. Some do it to avoid bills, some do it to avoid responsibilities and some do it simply to avoid paying their late fees at Blockbuster. Sound like fun? You bet it is! Find out how to get a piece of the action in our comprehensive primer on how to fake your own death.
prep work
Staging your own death requires the kind of preparation that could fluster even a wedding organizer. Make sure to complete the checklist below before you take the plunge.
Select a hideaway
All of your hard work will be for naught if friends and family members spot you at Denny’s a week after your supposed death. Therefore, you’ll need a safe haven that is free from the prying eyes of police, private investigators and acquaintances. Naturally, the further away you get the better, which means hiding in your attic simply won’t cut it. You’ll also want to avoid living in the same city as your friends or relatives and you’ll need to avoid popular vacation spots where you might run into someone you know.
Accumulate a secret supply of cash
Your newfound freedom will be worthless if you don’t have a little spending money to enjoy it with. One of your first steps will be to create a secret supply of cash that you’ll be able to dip into once you drop off the face of the earth. Since your bank account and credit cards will be frozen upon confirmation of your death, you’ll want to start taking out money from your checking and savings accounts up to six months before you "kick the bucket." The key, of course, is to take out only a little at a time in order to prevent future suspicion.
Once you have your nest egg you can:
1) Put it in either a Swiss or offshore bank account or
2) Keep it in cash.
The advantage of using cash is that your money will be virtually untraceable, while the advantage of selecting a Swiss or offshore account is that authorities will be unable to gain access to your records.
Unless you’re already fabulously wealthy, keep in mind that your stash will likely only be enough to support you for your first few months of being on the outs. After that, you’ll need to find a job -- ideally one that pays under the table so you won’t be forced to file taxes.
Change your identity
In this day and age of heightened security, it’s impossible to travel freely without proper identification. The easiest solution, therefore, is to pay a black-market forger to create a driver’s license, a passport, a social security number, and a birth certificate for you. Naturally, it will be an expensive proposition, but nobody ever said that freedom was actually free. Before having your papers created, decide upon a new name, a new birth date and a new city of birth, then memorize the information thoroughly. Also, be smart about your choices: Just because you were clever enough to fake your own death doesn’t mean you should celebrate by selecting a moniker like “Shaquille von Skywalker.”
Change your appearance
Even if authorities don’t recognize your new name, they still might recognize your appearance, so you might want to take a cue from Harrison Ford in The Fugitive by buying a bottle of dye and altering your facial hair. Hell, why stop there? This could be the perfect opportunity to buy that pair of breast implants you’ve always wanted.
Write a note
If you’re planning on staging a suicide, you’ll need to leave behind a decent note. Make sure to mention the overwhelming burden of expectations, your inability to cope and the pitiful cruelness of the world. And whatever you do, don’t leave behind a forwarding address.
Don’t boast
Loose lips sink ships faster than a class-five hurricane, so do your best to keep your plans to yourself.
Don’t act suspiciously
Prior to leaving behind your mortal coil, it’s essential to act as normally as possible. This means: Don’t sell all of your earthly possessions, don’t say any goodbyes and don’t adjust your life insurance policy.
Now that you’ve laid the groundwork, it’s time for your final act. Select the method of death that best suits your needs. You can...
Jump off a bridge
If all the collection agents in the world jumped off a bridge would you? Of course, you wouldn’t! You’d have no reason to. The key to executing the bridge jump is to make it look like a suicide. Act morose for weeks before you jump, leave behind a suicide note and -- above all else -- make sure there are people to witness your plummet. Nighttime works best since onlookers will be able to see you clearly before you jump, but they might not be able to see you resurface on the other side of the riverbank. Once you emerge, dry yourself off quickly and head off in a getaway car to a better, and hopefully drier, life.
Die a tropical death
Many small developing nations are notorious for doing anything for a buck. The next time you’re on vacation in one of these tropical paradises simply bribe a civil servant to write up a death certificate and then have them send it to your local embassy. Just make sure the cause of death seems legitimate. Death by drowning, for instance, seems likely; death by Margarita, on the other hand, does not.
Blow up
Create a disaster, making sure to leave behind your wallet or some other form of unmistakable identification. Fires and explosions are both good choices -- so long as they’re completely thorough. After all, the last thing you want to do is lose your Diners Club card and be charged with arson.
Drive off a cliff
A method of faking death that is popular in films is the reckless act of driving off a cliff. This particular stunt requires three key ingredients:
1) Quick reflexes
2) A car and
3) A dangerous mountain pass in which your automobile will plummet hundreds of feet below before ultimately exploding into a million pieces.
When the day comes to perform the deed, simply roll out of the driver’s side as soon as the car hits the guardrails, then stumble to safety in order to avoid the ensuing debris. This particular method works best at nighttime when you can make a clean getaway without being spotted; otherwise, you will have needlessly lost your only way of getting to your 6 a.m. shift at Wal-Mart.
Stage your own death scene
Every year, thousands of Americans are killed in home invasions. Why should you be any different? Get the authorities off your trail by staging your very own violent death. You’ll need:
1) A gun
2) Blood and
3) One to two hours to complete the task.
First, prepare your apartment by making it look as though a violent struggle took place. That means actually breaking in to create the appearance of a forced entry. It also means knocking down books, pulling out drawers and generally making a giant mess.
Next, remove all cash and valuables, then pepper the scene with traces of your own blood (your DNA is essential). One effective way of doing this is by making a slight incision directly above your right eyebrow. Since the area is highly vascular the blood will come spurting out instantly.
Finally, fire two shots into the walls and leave before the police come to investigate. Naturally, the lack of a corpse will look suspicious, but after a futile manhunt, investigators will eventually have to conclude the assailants took your body with them.
Stage your own kidnapping
Another convincing way of bidding adieu is by staging your very own kidnapping. But since your $8.95-an-hour job doesn’t make you a particularly valuable commodity, you might want to stage the event during a trip to Mexico City, where nabbing any American is like hitting the jackpot.
After traveling south of the border your first job will be to simply vanish. Make sure to select a safe location where you’ll be far away from the prying eyes of authorities and anyone who might recognize you. Then, after a minimum of 24 hours of hiding, have a third party contact one of your loved ones and make a terse -- and unreasonable -- demand for ransom. Ideally, this third-party coconspirator should be someone you can trust since the last thing you want is to have them blackmail you and expose your plot in the future.
When your coconspirator does make the phone call, have them use a pay phone that is located far away from your new hideout, and have him keep all of his calls under 30 seconds to prevent them from being traced. The first call should establish the direness of the situation, who’s in charge and the asking price ($300,000 to $500,000 is a good starting point). It should also establish an impossible timeframe, demanding that the money be made available within 48 hours or the kidnapping victim will be killed.
After that timeframe has passed, have your coconspirator call again for an update. If the money is not available, have them hang up immediately. If the money is available, congratulations -- you’re now half a million dollars richer! Regardless of the outcome, have your coconspirator refuse to hand you over and have them sever all future contact. After several days, weeks and even months with no word of your existence, your friends and family will finally have to conclude that you were killed.
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